Look out Second Level, Bastian is on the move!

Thank you. I don't think it would be right to start today's blog out any other way but with a thank you to everyone that is rallying to support me and Bastian. Let me say it once more:

THANK YOU!

I've gotten my entry ready for the USDF Region 2 Championships and am $50 away from getting the sponserships I need for a free stall. :) I am overwhelmed by so many people offering to help us out! So cool!

Secondly, I have got some major company sponserships in the works as well. I don't want to reveal any details other than that until the details are hashed out, but its making this entire venture real. And THANK YOU to the individuals that have been working on those. Bastian and I truly appreciate you support!

Currently we are getting ready for the MSEDA Dressage Show at the Kentucky Horse Park September 7-9. We're showing First Level on Saturday and doing our first ever Second Level test on Sunday. EEEKK! I am so excited, I'm finally moving beyond Training and First!

But wow, the move up to Second Level is crazy! Kristin has us working very hard and I am beginning to realize why so many people never advance past First Level. Training and First pose their own questions and difficulties, but its questions that are just confirming the basic training of the horse-go forward, accept the bridle and respond to leg. Now I've got to get Bastian more supple, rocked back onto his hocks, in an uphill frame and I personally have to sit all that crazy medium trot! LOL

My goal is to stay in the 60%s with my score, but I know its gonna be tough. I feel pretty good about our shoulder ins and super good about our 3 halts, the reinback and our free walk. Our canter-walks have potential if I keep it together, as do our mediums. The counter canter shouldn't be too bad....he's very confirmed there, I just need to be able to do counter canter in collected canter, that's the hitch, LOL. But the upswing is that our First Level Work is becoming amazing! That little canter loopy of counter canter, it ain't no thing! Lol

But I'm pretty excited anyway. Next year Bastian and I will be rocking the USDF Dover Second Level Medal Classes whilst chasing our Para-Equestrian goals. To flip back to that topic, I am going to be doing both custom saddle pads and I think Polo shirts (not entirely sure on the shirt aspect yet). Once I consult my design team I'll get order forms ready. I have some ideas for a slogan/logo, but am very open to suggestions so if you have any ideas message me or post them in the comments below ;)

Mai oui, Bastian est tres formidable!

Sorry I haven't kept up with my blogging, its been a rather crazy 2 months and I have no excuse, but believe you me, this post should more than make up for :)

So last time we left our struggling hero, Bastian, he had two refusals XC at the Lost Hounds Pony Club horse trials because his rider didn't do her job and get him around with confidence. I had already sent in my entry for South Farm for BN, but contacted them and asked to be put into the Starter Division. I needed to get my confidence up. So with that done we concentrated on riding forward and me not grabbing him with my right hand. It was like my right hand had a mind of its own and going up to a fence I would yank it back and out repeatedly and I had no idea I was doing it. Kristin made me jump with my right hand holding my left hand and you know what, it was perfect! Really weird feeling, but perfect. I wasn't interfering with him.

So off we went to South Farm with Cindy and Banff. I wasn't 100% there for Dressage, he was a little stuck behind my leg and I didn't put in the best test, we came away with a 30.5 and were sitting in second place. XC was next and I kept my warm-up perfect. All I needed was about 5 minutes, we popped over the warm-ups and did the warm-up log they had. He was forward and I felt good.

5....4...3...2..2..Have a great ride! My plan was to trot our first fence...Bastian decided he wanted to canter so I panicked for a stride then said okay and off we went. Jumped it like a champ, the only one he looked at was fence 2 and he just took a little peek, after that we actually cantered all of our fences, I was with him, we didn't take any from a standstill and we didn't hit any. So much improvement! Here is the video:

Did you see how AWESOME that was????? I actually rode, I was so happy :) So we maintained our second place spot. On Sunday we came back for Stadium. A pretty technical course, but still very inviting fence-wise. Check out our first two fences, they were perfect!

Again, we didn't jump any from a standstill and we didn't hit any. This was what we needed, we needed to just get our gallop on and go without being intimidated by anything. We finished in 2nd by just one point (1st had a 29), so close.....So our last event of the year ended quite well :)

After South Farm, I had just two weeks until the NODA Dressage Shows at Grand Haven. This was my big chance to get my Qualifying scores for Training and First for Regionals, no pressure or anything. LOL. Kristin kicked our butts in lessons and we got a lot sorted out, like the elusive element of straightness and making my corrections more subtle. Well all I have to say is that it worked!

I got all my qualifying scores and am Kentucky bound in October! Woot! Bastian and I owned Training Level, we scored a 70% on Saturday and a 73.2% on Sunday, placing first both times. Oh yeah, we did. :P He felt sooooo good. Our Sunday Score also earned us the Training Level Reserve Champion Award for the AA division (Champion had a 73.5%, again...so close!)We got a 65% and 63% for first level on Saturday and Sunday respectively. We placed 2nd in both of those classes. Sunday's score would have been fabulous, but on our first canter loop I half halted too much at X and he did a brilliant trot transistion :( Otherwise it was really really great!

So Bastian was a champ. Now, here is the cool part. Are you ready? Should I build the suspense more? Maybe do a whole 'nother paragraph about the awesome food that they offer at Grand Haven or how well everyone did and how awesome Kristin is as a trainer and instructor to have gotten me to the point where I can score 70s in Training Level....or maybe I should just tell you. Or maybe wait? I just can't seem to decide what to do.....

Okay, here it is: My judge on Saturday for First Level and Sunday for Training Level was an FEI*** Para-Equestrian Judge. After our Training Level test when the runner went to go get the tests (the runner happened to be the Show Secretary at that moment)she told her that she wanted to speak with me during lunch and that she felt that me AND my horse had a lot of potential and she wanted to see us work toward being selected for the 2012 WEG.

How friggin' awesome is that! All my hard work has finally gotten me noticed (and I have to give a HUGE hats off to Kristin because without her guidance and no-nonsense work hard kick ass lessons we would NOT be here). So Kristin and I spoke with her and she kept saying how much potential she thought we had and I mentioned that I would start looking for a more suitable horse and she was like "why?". Even better than thinking that I have potential, she feels that Bastian has the ability to be competitive. We earned an 8 on Harmony between horse and rider on our test, how about them apples?! Not just a safe ride and not just a nice score, but COMPETITIVE!!!! My lil' Bastian boy an international pony! Riding planes and learning how to wear a beret and speak French....lol, okay maybe I'm getting ahead of myself!

So she said Kristin should start riding Bastian and getting him schooled on the second level stuff that is in my test (shoulder in, mediums, simple transitions, collected gaits,etc) and I should start riding horses that can do those things so I can learn how do them. Next year I should ride the tests as often as possible so I get a year of experience and attend a couple of CPDI/CDI, (I don't really know the abbreviations yet, but big time shows!) so I get comfortable with that kind of pressure and work towards getting on the selection list at the end of 2013 beginning of 2014.

Grand Haven's secretary said they would add the tests to the shows next year for me :) So now I have to get an FEI passport for Bastian and I need to get my Classification changed from just USEF to FEI. I am soooooo excited. Lots of details to work out and I've got to start seeking out sponsorships and donations to make all of this economically feasible, but I'm gonna get it done one way or another.

Our next show is the MSEDA Show in Kentucky in September. I'm taking Bastian and doing not only First Level, but we're making our Second Level debut with Second One. I don't expect to dazzle anyone, but I'm hoping I can hold my own. I've watched others make the move to Second Level and its one of those funky levels that a lot of people seem to struggle with. Bastian and I have to learn how to ROCK second level. I'm pretty excited about it.

So that's my news! I'm hoping to start serious training in January as the next two months are devoted to prepping for Regionals and I'll probably give him about a month off of real work (as in light hacks a few days a week) then get ourselves ready for serious boot camp starting in January! If anyone wants to help out send me a message! I've got some great fund raising ideas in mind and am hoping to try and secure some sponsors. Kerrits, watch out, cause you are getting a letter seeing as how I pretty much exclusively wear your clothes! LOL

Chalking it up

Where to begin? At the beginning of course, but that would take too long, so we'll just start with Friday.

Cindy and I drove up to Erie to walk the XC course. I wasn't worried about any of them (well thats a lie, I was worried about fence 8, the green flower box, but it was entirely my worry-it just freaks me out) I walked the course, had a plan and told myself how I was going to gallop every fence and use my legs and whip and rock it. Same thing with Stadium, Stadium had a few oddly set fences, but we had a plan and again, it involved galloping FORWARD!

On Saturday, Cindy and I rolled out of the barn at 6:00 AM, with one very handsome chestnut Thoroughbred tucked in the trailer. The farrier cut Banff a bit too short and Cindy made the decision to not risk him on the hard ground at Erie and blow her entire season. They'll be up and running for South Farm so no worries there :) My dressage was at 8:40. We arrive and are right on time as far as getting ready and warmed up. Bastian feels great and we put in a very solid test, I thought the judge was a bit picky, but I'm also of course biased (lol). We came away with a 33 and were sitting in third place.

Unfortunately for me, that was the easy part. I'm totally backwards for eventing because dressage is my strongest phase...lol. My stadium time was at 1:12, I was exhausted so I took an awesome nap for about 2 hours-I was out. I decided I needed to be on at 12:30, I wasn't sure how to plan my stadium warm-up. Lots of factors going on, what if the warm up was crazy and I couldn't find my own space (Bastian has a thing about horses coming towards him that we haven't completely addressed yet, thank you dumb friesan at Regionals...grrrr). What if I couldn't get him forward enough? What if..... so I decided that more time was better. I didn't need it. We came to the warm up and I had him awesome, forward and kicking those fence's asses. Now we had about 30 minutes to wait until I actually went in...lesson learned, shorter warm up time, I go into the warm up with my game face on and get it done, I can't worry about all the other stuff. There is no other option but to DO IT. We started out okay, then lost it for fence 2, fence 3 was okay, four was horrible, lucky for me taking out the whole fence still only counts as one "rail." Then it was the moment of truth. I got my shit together and rode the rest of the course.

This was a big thing for me and thank you Kristin for bringing it to my attention in my lesson on Friday. I ride one fence and then I stop. I get so elated by the fact that I got over it and (hopefully) rode mostly well that I just let B stop. Which is or isn't good for schooling, but at a show over a course will not work. I have a crappy fence and I shut down and don't realize that the rest could be okay. But I have to ride and keep riding, one crappy fence doesn't mean the rest have to be crappy. So I manned up and I got us over fence 5 and took much more control over the rest of the course. See for yourself. Better than Buckeye CT and lots of room for us to improve-but at least there is improvement (and I think we looked super cute at least with the grey jacket and his little braids....)

So we had a rail, but no time penalties so we bumped our score up to 37, but managed to stay in 3rd place, a lot of people were having rails.

XC was scheduled just 1 hour later, at 2:12, so back to trailer where Cindy took care of my awesome little Luck Dragon and I drank some more brandy and got myself dressed for XC.

What to say about XC, fence one was iffy, but we got over it and took fence two for granted, we lost our pace way far out, fence three I was lucky he went over, same for four, the bank, then we had another stop at five, this one was a bit dirty, but after four iffy fences, he thought he had figured out what was going on, he's a quick learner and while he LOVES jumping, he really does need my help and when I don't do my job I can't say I blame him for being a bit naughty. But at this point I said enough, I whapped him good and we got over it on the second try and the next five fences were awesome. I galloped him and focused him and myself and he didn't bat an eye. I'm really hoping that the photographer was at the green flower stand, because that was our fence. I GALLOPED him up to it. As in I had two outcomes for this fence in my mind, one he was going to slam on the brakes and I would take the fence independently of Bastian and two he was going to take it like an old pro. I was seriously afraid of how fast we were going, but it was our best fence. This was the pace I need. This is what I have to learn. Through the water, over the stone wall (another pretty good fence) then over the log. Then a long gallop to the ditch. I was tired, but we kept going. We trotted the ditch, which he peeked at, but jumped. Then over another little log where I lost my stirrup and had to stop and it took me a good 20 seconds to get my stirrup back-more time faults) then galloped on to my last fence, didn't have enough pace, but had enough to get over and we were done.

My initial reaction was a mixture of about to be sick and pissed off. The stops were my fault, I hadn't done enough, I made mistakes that should never have happened, dumb simple mistakes that I know better than to make. I have got to get my mind in the game.

Here is the link to my XC video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9fY0Vc2mVk&feature=youtu.be

Upon further reflection I don't feel as pissed off, am I still disappointed in myself, yes. Thats me. I don't accept those mistakes in myself and the only option in my world is perfection (see the dressage diva coming out!!!) But looking at the facts, we did alright. I have not evented in 5 years. My last two events I was eliminated in dressage both times. Bastian has been to one event prior to this, Winona HT, everything at Winona was much quieter and low key. LHPC was the first time we actually galloped a course (and I use the term gallop loosely!), at Winona we trotted the whole thing. There were hardly any people on the course, at LHPC, there were people and chairs and tents and ambulances and OMG all sorts of things for Bastian to look at and look he did, his attention was everywhere for those first five fences until I got us together. We finished the course and believe you me, there were several times when the idea of retiring popped into my head, but I overruled it. I said no, you are here and you are not stopping just because you are a wimp, if you have a good reason, then stop, but you don't so you had better keep going. And go we did.

I need to be more fit. I was tired and having trouble keeping up my end of the bargain in riding Bastian, he on the other hand was super fit and could have gone out a second time! The fitness thing is frustrating for me because I have to do everything twice as much as a normal person to get even a normal fitness level. Please don't think I'm whining or pulling a oh poor me moment, but you know what, it sucks. So somewhere in my schedule I need to find time to walk more and fit in the SITS DVDs that I have (which are awesome, its just a consistency problem for me- I know, shut up with the whining and just do it....). Another option might be only doing events where its divided up over two days, doing all three phases in one day might just be too much for me. Some food for thought for sure.

We ended up in 11th place out of 15 starters with a penalty score of 94.2 :( Yikes! But we finished and all in all it gave me a lot of good experience and I intend to learn from all of it.

South Farm HT is in two weeks, we've always had good rides at South Farm, so I'm looking forward to putting my galloping into practice and getting it done. Wish us luck!

I leave it with a quote from the one and only Augustus McCrae:

Old Codger: Augustus McCrae, you won't walk 40 miles on that busted leg.

Gus: I might fool you.

Augustus McCrae, you are one of my heros and despite the obstacles that keep being thrown in my path, I hope to fool everyone too. :)

Of Spiders and Novel Ideas

Okay, so I tried to ride the other day after not seeing my horse for 10 days. I was also having a horrible three weeks day. There is some stuff going on at work which I am not happy with, its really rocking my world and then on top of that, my financial situation hit what might be considered rock bottom. Basically I was relying on my horse to be the bright beacon of hope in the dark dark tunnel that was my current life. It is after all, his fault that I am in this position, if he weren't such a free-loading mooch and actually paid for his own upkeep....... but I digress :P

So our ride started out innocuously enough, I had him moving forward and then balancing back, forward and back, forward and back and he was really responding. Super. So we tackle the X-rail and we kick its ass! Then I put it up to a low vertical, like 2'1" and we proceed to rock it, he's actually moving forward so I decide I'm gonna put it up and tackle BN height just to get it out of the way and get it done. Well.....

The first time I actually rode it, but he wasn't ready for the height and he brought the rail down. The second time I took my leg off, brought my hand back and we only barely made it over, no impulsion. The next two fences were just as bad. At this point Kristin came into the arena and I got the forward lecture, which I needed and she dropped the height back down to where I had it before and she got me over the fence and for that I am very thankful. Its wonderful to know that my instructor cares enough about me to step in when I make bad decisions and I'm not even riding in a lesson..... :) Everyone should be so lucky.

So this just added to my craptastically fabulous day so it was suggested I go on a little trail ride to just decompress and get it all together not to mention end on a good note. Well, it almost worked until the end. I was almost back to the barn when I looked down at my watch to see a HUGE tarantula normal sized daddy long legs crawling on my hand. I do not like spiders, no that's and understatement, I detest spiders and in my current mood I was not able to keep my cool and deal with it. I took a rather dramatic swipe at it with my right hand which B mistook as goodness only knows what causing him to buck and take off. I only had one rein, I lost both stirrups, but thank you Kerrits Sit Tights, my butt stayed glued to the saddle. I was saying "whoa" but in a slightly panicked voice so it didn't help, he kept spinning/bucking left because that was the rein I had and eventually spun himself into a grove of trees. As in he literally slammed into three trees and a sappling that were growing together. He stopped, I panicked again wondering if he was impaled somehow but then he realized that he was surrounded by leaves and started to eat the trees so I figured he was okay. He ended up with a little scrape on his nose and I ended with some scratches on my arms, a scratch under my eye and a swollen upper lip. Yeah, great trail ride.

As we walk back to the barn I start contemplating other sports that I might be better at....tennis, ping pong, curling....

The day ended with some much needed friend therapy and delicious sangrias. I slept quite well. :)

Fast forward.....my ride was awesome! I started out the same way pushing him forward, balancing him back, we actually had a pretty nice lengthening on one of our diagonals at one point. So things were just so-so I wasn't getting him forward enough, I had the vertical at a nice comfy 2'1" again. Then we were coming in and I really have no idea if my leg was on or not, I am thinking its on, but he's not doing anything so it probably wasn't and I did perhaps the most logical thing ever. Seriously, are you ready for my solution to this problem of not enough impulsion to the fence? I used my whip. Yup, that beautiful custom jockey bat that I have in yellow and navy that I diligently carry with me every time I jump. I actually let go of the reins with my left hand and tapped him behind my leg and he said, oh you want me to move up? Okay and we hit our spot. Damn. I mean really, who would have ever thought?

So I'm pretty satisfied and I want to say that again, I was not riding in a lesson, although Kristin was teaching my friend Gwen. I'm ready to call it quits and I come around the corner and see the jump again and someone mysteriously put the rail back up to the height I had been trying to jump yesterday. Hmmmmm, I wonder how that happened? I have learned that it is pointless to argue with your trainer. They know best. Period. I pay this woman to make decisions about me and my horse, if I don't trust her, then why the hell am I paying her? So I say nothing, aside from asking Gwen if I can take that jump just one time before she canters, to which I get an enthusiastic "yes." Lol So I get my canter and we turn towards the jump and I feel us starting to suck back and again I employ the "whip trick" and guess what, he moves up, soars over it and it is lovely. Kristin says nice job, but I still need a bit more. My response. "I was really just concentrating on the whole one handed jumping not dying thing, but okay, I'll work on it."

Long story short (too late!) this ride was soooooo much better! We ended with a five minute gallop on the outdoor working on my two point and keeping up that rolling galloping that I will need XC. After I got him put away I made it back into the arena to measure the fence because I wanted to know what I jumped and was hoping it was something kinda insane so I would feel really good about myself....it was 2'9"! Woot. The rail was already down, so I measured to the bottom of the jump cup and that was 2'8". I have to say that I was pretty proud of myself. I only have to jump 2'6 for BN.

So hopefully I can remember my little trick and actually utilize my whip instead of just holding onto it like a fashion accessory. This weekend is the WPDA and Grand Haven Dressage Shows, B and I aren't showing, but a lot of others from the team are, we have 15 rides everyday between everyone. So good luck to everyone, I'll be running the barn and keeping everyone tacked up and ready to go on Saturday and Sunday, I take my grooming job pretty seriously. If you are out at Grand Haven stop by the main barn and see us!

Also of note, my friend Jessica is competing at Bromont this weekend in the CCI***, She's currently sitting in 9th place. Go Jess and Bug, Bastian and I are totally cheering you on! Rock it on the XC course!

Drifting Right.......

Well, I haven't seen my handsome boy for a full week now and I still have two more days before I finally make it out to the barn. The school year is almost over, my summer vacation is so close I can taste it. while I spent the past week pulling 12 hours days and stressing out over work and finances, I finally to do some fun horsey type things over the weekend. Everything is right on par. LOL

This past weekend, I was supposed to take B to Erie for their Combined Test, financially I wasn't able to make it happen, but I still went because Kristin was judging the dressage on Saturday and Sunday and I was planning on scribing for her. It was a blast, the weather was less then super and I have to say if you are going to a show where its cold and rainy, then being the judge's scribe, warm and toasty in the car, is the place to be.

The Doodle loved the breeze in Kristin's car on the ride home, she was sooooo happy!

Being a scribe was very educational. Sitting at C and seeing the test from the judge's perspective is so different. Once I got familiar with the tests I was able to snatch looks at pieces of everybody's rides to see what a 6, 7, or 5 might look like. If you have not ever volunteered and scribed, I highly recommend doing it. I have to admit that after nearly 8 hours of scribing on Saturday and another 8 hours on Sun, I was a little fried. There were a couple times I spaced out and Kristin was like, "Are you okay?" I of course said, yeah, I'm fine. To which she said, you haven't written down the last two scores..... and then I was putting comments where the scores went and scores in the comments sections. So I don't recommend doing that many hours of scribing, maybe 4? That way you still stay fresh...lol

On Saturday after we got done, we headed out to Presque Isle Downs for dinner and racing. I bet on a horse named "Lucky Dragon" in the 7th race, I figured it was fate. However he came in 6th. For a while he was in 2nd, but he faded in the backstretch. Oh well, all I lost was $2. Hopefully I'll be luckier next time! LOL

This coming week, aside from getting to finally ride B, we're headed to Grand Haven Stables for the recognized Dressage Show and I get to play Barn Manager/Head Groom :) I'm very excited aside from the fact that Bastian is staying home (again) I keep trying to show at the WPDA/Grand Haven June show, but it never seems to work out...hopefully next year??? But getting to Groom for everybody is fun and Grand Haven is quite a nice facility, I have no doubts that our crew is going to kick ass.

Then after Grand Haven its just one week until the LHPC HT. I'm offically doing BN! Buckeye was successful, so I should be okay :) Stadium is first so I figure if I have any major stadium problems I can pull out before XC, but I don't foresee any problems, I am going to keep my leg on and keep him forward. He will jump everything, he's a super star. We're gonna fit in a XC schooling day from the event too. I'm excited about it!

And just in case I doubt it, check out this awesome picture of us over our last fence at Winona:

I'm pretty sure Bastian can handle the additional 6" that make it BN....lol

Supa-Star!

OMG!! I showed BN at the Up and Over CT at Buckeye Horse Park today and Bastian was beyond amazazing. Seriously. Great way to go into my financial abyss. Here is how it went down:

Saturday

I got myself all packed up and ready to go. I had a lesson at 6 since I hadn't ridden since last Saturday. Had a amazing lesson, as in we had forward, fluffy, pace. I warmed up over only a few little fences before Kristin cranked them to 2'6". We rocked it. It was an awesome lesson and a great way to end before the show.

Sunday

Got up and headed out the barn to bath and braid Bastian. Yeah, I know it was just a schooling show, but B looks unfriggin' believable with a braided mane and I wanted him to look good :) It was hot and muggy. We got to the show and checked in then I walked stadium with Cindy. None of the fences worried me and even though a few looked a bit big (as in Novice height) they weren't intimidating. I was feeling pretty good. We headed back to the trailer where we had an hour and a a half wait before I could even start thinking about tacking up for dressage. Finally it was time! Kristin did my hair up and I got Bastian tacked up and ready to go.

Dressage He warmed up splendidly, nice transistions, steady in the bridle and moving forward. A little pushy with my half halts, so we did lots of transitions until he was listening more to my seat and body than my hands. In we go for our test (best part was they were using a duck call as the "whistle"!). We got 7's on our first three movements, then 8's on everything else, including the collective remarks. He was unbelievable, we scored a 21.5!! It was such a nice consistent test. The judge was quite friendly and talking to everyone after their test. She motioned me forward and said "There is just one thing I want to say....(I got pretty nervous at this point)and then she started to say how my feet were really shoved home in the stirrups and how it really detracted from the overall picture. At which point I told her about being a grade III para-equestrian and how the eventing and CT world does not recognize my dispensation card. Her reaction was "really!! that is excellent! (as in excellent that I was out there doing it, not that I was a para-equestrian), it was really cool to see such a positive reaction, so we briefly discussed my normal compensating aides and she suggested that I get black stirrups to help minimize my legs drawing attention. :) how nice!

Stadium

Show time! After a quick tack change assisted by the fabulous Pablo Williams I headed over to the stadium warm up. Our warm up was okay, I needed more pace but we were getting to the fences and getting over them. On to course! We went in and up to this point, my nerves had not kicked in. As soon as we went in that gate boy did they ever! I started to trot in the general direction of the first few fences intending to do a little tour of the arena when I hear the whistle to start. EEP! I ask for my canter and perhaps could have won a western pleasure class...I needed some serious leg and then I had it and then we got to the fence and I said whoa with my hands, he looked at it then popped over it. Which was better than I expected, I honestly expected a refusal. Okay I tried to shake it off, but it didn't work and fences two and three and four were just as spotty. Then around to the 4 stride line, we came into it poorly, I panicked and said whoa and he basically stopped at the oxer then said, "um aren't we supposed to jump this????" and proceeded to get us to the other side and take down the back rail in the process. I totally deserved that rail, my riding was craptastic. Fence six was pretty much the same, almost a dead stop then popped over it. Seven was slightly better and then I cowboyed right up to eight, a max height (or bigger, it looked HUGE) oxer and it was actually pretty decent because I used my leg and stayed out of his face.

The moral of the story is that after today my horse may be eligible for Saint Hood. Watch the video, I think you'll agree. I made the decision to stay in and do a schooling round. Wow what a difference! Again, refer to the video. I didn't have the same nerves because we had successfully made it over everything once so I went for it and it was so. much. better. I only did the fences up through the line and then called it quits, I wanted to make sure I ended on a good note. It could have been fluffier, but it was at least forward! Amazing how debilitating show nerves can be.

But we did it! We made it around a BN stadium course. I am so proud of both my horse and of myself. I conquered a lot of stuff today-new courses and new heights. Things are obviously not going entirely the way I want them to go, but B and I are going to keep fighting to become successful eventers.

Everyone who showed today from my barn was awesome! Cindy and Shae won their divison, Katie and Kailu brought home a second and a third, Wyatt and Angel brought home a third and Chloe and Angel brought home a fourth. Kristin also showed Rosie and they came home with a second. and Colleen and Sexy-Texy just did some schooling jumper rounds, but they were awesome too! A very successful day all around filled with good company and good food. Couldn't ask for anything better (except for riding more forward-I'm on it!)

Fun while it lasted

Well, I seem to be the Queen of the short show season. Mine is over, indefinitely. Bastian is healthy, looking awesome and fit. I'm fine, could be fitter, could be healthier, but I'm fine. Its my nemesis, money that is rearing its ugly head again.

I'm working. A lot. Full time, part time, Friday nights, Sunday mornings and whenever else I can. I am currently working every day for the current and next two weeks with the exception of my weekends on which I am attending horse shows. That means up at 5, work from 6:30-2:45, run home to let the dogs out, then on to job #2 from 4-9. Then home. Rinse, Lather, Repeat. You get the idea. Everyday.

Which means I'm not getting any riding in before my show, which is usually how my life goes. But pah, I don't have to practice, I mean I'm only moving up to BN at the CT this weekend. No biggie.... I don't have any problems over fences or anything....

But that is beside the point.

So much like last year, my season is over before it even had the chance to get going. At least this year we were successful, and won something and had some fun. Last year I put in a craptastic dressage test and my horse was slightly lame. I guess that's improvement right, I should be happy?

There is a lot involved here. Here is what pisses me off. First off, I work my ass off and I never seem to get ahead financially. Yes I own a horse and yes I didn't always make the best financial decisions. I take full credit for getting myself to where I am, to a point. After that, its just BS. Like months ago I was given a schedule of when I would get my stipends for extra-curricular activities I do at the school, I was told that I would receive my last payment on May 25. Today I get an email saying that that payment is now put off until June 10. Right. I had plans for that $$$$ as in getting caught up on some bills and being able to pay association and entry fees. Now that isn't going to happen :(

I'm stressed. Which involves its own symptoms and unhappyness, no one should have to live like this. I can't cut out anything else. I'm already down to eating lettuce and dressing (with cranberries, I have a huge ass bag of cranberries I bought at Sam's Club a while ago and it has lasted forever!) for lunch and dinner. I have a couple of other random things in my cupboard, but aside from buying more lettuce and dressing from Aldi's grocery shopping is out. I've sold off pretty much anything I have that is of value and that someone would actually buy. I've been eligible for a new phone since November, haven't updated although I am in need of a phone that actually works correctly more than 75% of the time. I've got pretty strict electric/water rules (thankfully I live alone!) and I turned my heat off pretty early in the spring.

I know, I'm whining. But I really don't have a life outside of my horse (I know, again, my fault for not being a social butterfly, but whatever) And my life with my horse revolves around competitions. I LOVE competing. LOVE IT. If I don't have a competition to get ready for, I don't see a point to pushing myself to ride. Yes I love riding for riding's sake, and I can spend hours just brushing and lovin' on my Bastian but I'm a competition junkie. Now I get to spend yet another summer sitting on the sidelines, cheering on everybody else. Which again, I love. I love being a groom and I love seeing my friends compete and kick ass, but the whole time I'm insanely jealous because its not me and Bastian.

I've spent the past two years fighting for myself and Bastian, every step of the way. I've had some great people helping me out along the way, but at the same time, I can't keep this pace up, working all the time and not getting anywhere. I've struggled to balance my horse life with my dismal financial situation. Currently that involves no shows. I'm holding out that maybe I can pull off the NODA show at Grand Haven in July. Its a double show weekend, so I could still get my qualifying scores for Regionals provided nothing goes wrong during my tests, its a one time shot. I want to qualify for Regionals, its at the Horse Park this year.

Not to mention that Bastian and I had a stellar first event. Now I've got to abandon that momentum, maybe I'll get to event next year? I've already signed up for Buckeye, so I'm going to show this weekend, I hope I can make it count before I put away all of my show things and become a fixture doing loops in the arena with no purpose. Unless I magically come up with $500 by Friday. Which is pretty doubtful.

Sorry for the vent, but I needed to get it out. It won't make it better, but its allowed me to process through it more. This was supposed to be our year, the year of the dragon and now it is nothing. Here's to 2013. Maybe we'll actually do something and get to actually show.....

This is me (on the bay) and my friend Agent 009 at a Hunter Pace long long ago when I actually had some money....one day.....